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Redecorating on the cheap

Even a PowerPoint failed to sway my wife on my indoor lawn furniture idea

Published: Saturday, May 19, 2012 5:00 a.m. CDT

My wife has nixed my idea of putting lawn furniture in the family room.

In fact, I really don’t think she even considered it. I presented a number of well thought-out reasons complete with a PowerPoint presentation, and she turned me down on every point. There was no “thinking about it.” There was no “we’ll see.” There wasn’t even an acknowledgement that some of the points were good.

Point 1. Lawn furniture is cheap. My favorite lawn chair is one of those new-fangled things with the fabric stretched over a combination of poles. I won it in a drawing, but the retail price at BigMart is only $15. It has two reclining positions and cup holders in the arms. How cool is that?

Who wouldn’t love such a chair? You sit down in a chair like that, and you don’t want to get up. That’s Point 2. Lawn furniture is comfortable. But I wasn’t done with Point 1.

A good couch will run you $900 easily. Some are much more. You can buy a discount couch for $500 if you shop around. But you could buy 33 of my favorite lawn chairs for the same price. Look at all the money you would save.

Back to Point 2. Is there anything more comfortable than reclining in a lawn chair that has cup holders? I sometimes give up television to sit on my front porch in my lawn chair. I drink a soda just to have something to stick in the cup holders.

My chair is a bright blue recliner, which is a little tacky for my front porch. But it would fit well with the bright colors in our family room (Point 3). Our couch is a neutral color, which detracts from the funky style in the family room, but would look great on the front porch. I think we should swap them out.

Penny could sit on the couch on the front porch and I could watch TV in the lawn chair in the family room. She wouldn’t have to get up so much because there are two cup holders. I wouldn’t need a refill for quite awhile.

Incidentally, did you know that some towns outlaw having upholstered furniture on the front porch? I don’t understand that at all. The only thing that could possibly be better than lawn furniture in the living room would be to be able to lay back on the front porch on a couch. But that thought competes with Point 2, so disregard it.

Let’s see. Point 4. Lawn furniture is easy to clean around. You just fold it up and move it. If it soils, see Point 1. You just replace it.

Point 5. Lawn furniture is versatile. If you want to sit around outside, you just take the furniture from the family room with you. When you’re done, you bring it back in. You really don’t want your lawn furniture staying out in the elements, anyway. With my plan, there’s no need to store the furniture in the basement (Point 6).

Point 7. When you want to redecorate, just replace the furniture. It’s cheap (see Point 1).

Point 8. When the kids move out, they’re not as likely to want to take furniture with them.

Point 9. When guests come over, they’re not as likely to stay as long.

Point 10. Nobody will accuse you of trying to “keep up with the Joneses.”

I’ve seen people with lawn chairs in their homes. I really have. I’ve seen people use those plastic, stacking chairs at their dining room table. They had some excuse like, “The bank repossessed my furniture.” But I think they were being modest. I think they had a good thing going and didn’t want to share it.

Penny wasn’t buying it, though. The idea of saving money didn’t seem to phase her. As for the other points, her responses were: No, no, no, I don’t think so, ha ha ha ha ha, no, not on your life, don’t speak to me,  and no.

Ahhh. I think she’ll come around.

———

 ©Copyright 2012 by David Porter who can be reached at david@ramblinman.us. Penny says, while we’re at it, why don’t we just climb a pole to use the telephone and move the toilet outdoors? For the record, I’m OK with both of those.

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