Most of the prescriptions I have ever gotten warn me not to drive, operate heavy equipment or use a chainsaw while taking the medicine — which was never a big problem when I was young and lived in Manhattan. I didn’t own a car or a chainsaw, and operating heavy equipment was so far out of my comfort zone, it wasn’t even an issue. Pretty much the same for light equipment.

I thought the only people who owned chainsaws were serial killers and Mafia enforcers. When watching the news after a hurricane or tornado had hit some unfortunate town, it always seemed strange to see homeowners emerge from their houses lugging giant chainsaws and start cutting apart fallen trees. Where did they learn how to use them? How often does this town get hit by tornadoes? If it’s a regular thing, I’m not sure owning a chainsaw will solve the problem. Maybe there’s something about chainsaws that attracts tornadoes.