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Armed rebellion in America

It’s possible if the right straw breaks the camel’s back

Published: Friday, May 10, 2013 9:45 a.m. CST

According to a PublicMind poll by Fairleigh Dickinson University, nearly one-third of registered voters answer in the affirmative to the proposition “In the next few years, an armed revolution might be necessary in order to protect our liberties.”

Commentators have jumped on the way in which people with different party affiliations responded to the survey. Forty-four percent of Republicans and 27 percent of independents foresee an armed revolt, but only 18 percent of Democrats feel that way.

Are the Dems wallowing in denial because (unlike the stereotypical “angry white males” of the GOP) current social trends are leaving them pretty mellow? Maybe. Or perhaps they are just glossing over potential rebels’ complaints because they are preoccupied with their few remaining wish list goals:

• Obtaining federal research funding for Mr. Potato Head technology for transgender individuals.

• Securing the ability of 15-year-old girls to buy climate-change stranded polar bears without parental notification.

• Officially changing the wearily sighed complaint to “I’m gay-married to my job.”

• Ending hateful restrictions on voters just because they’re buried on foreign soil.

Many of the people taking the survey probably think the eruption of violence is POSSIBLE, but just not practical. HBO host Bill Maher thinks it absurd that even the best-armed malcontents could hold out for long against the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, the U.S. military and other government forces.

To their credit, one anonymous militia leader sheepishly explained, “We were sort of hoping there would be an app for that by the time the fateful day arrived.”

Yes, widespread support for the rebel cause is a must, but as one militia member lamented, “Everybody TALKS about storming the offices of the U.S. Weather Bureau, but nobody ever does anything about it.”

Perhaps it will take a three-pronged message. “Free beleaguered taxpayers!” “Free privacy-loving citizens!” “Um... free beer!”

I see a vicious cycle. The more name-calling, overspending and regulation the government does, the more the underground groups do to provoke name-calling, overspending and regulation.

One aggravation for the groups considering rebellion is that some liberals give a half-hearted nod to the Second Amendment, but insist that it was drafted simply to protect the right to hunt rabbits and deer.

Just as freedom of assembly is limited to holding meetings to discuss hunting rabbits and deer. And the Founding Fathers decided freedom of worship exists solely so we can exclaim, “Thank God for rabbits and deer!”

If armed rebellion does indeed break out in the next few years, I have to wonder what will be the trigger, the tipping point, the straw that breaks the camel’s back. Some possibilities:

• Government insists on conducting BACKGROUND CHECKS after radioactive spills and keeps forcing earthquakes to REGISTER on the Richter scale.

• Obamacare still refuses to accept in utero NRA membership as prenatal care.

• Godless textbooks teach that Patrick Henry and Ethan Allen didn’t fight redcoats alongside the dinosaurs.

For now, let’s live life one day at a time and be the best Americans we can. In the corner of our minds we can wait for the other shoe to drop. (“Hey! That shoe dropped and it’s sort of, kind of leaning toward Mecca! The day has arrived! I’m mad as Thomas Paine and I’m not going to take it anymore! Patriots arise!!!”)

———

Danny welcomes reader e-mail responses at tyreetyrades@aol.com and visits to his Facebook fan page “Tyree’s Tyrades.”
©2013 Danny Tyree

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