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Blow up your TV

Just be prepared to come across a bit socially inept

Published: Friday, Aug. 2, 2013 9:35 a.m. CDT

Many years ago, singer-songwriter John Prine advise d lyrically to “blow up your TV.”

Although I don’t think I watch much TV, I’m resolved to watch less.

Sunday was Day 1 with no TV in the house. I haven’t cancelled my cable subscription yet in case I relapse, but I made it through the day without TV. OK, I confess, I watched a movie on my laptop.

I knew a guy once who quit smoking cigarettes, but he would bum them from his friends. If you asked him, he’d tell you he doesn’t smoke anymore, but what he means is, he doesn’t buy them anymore.

I hope I’m not like that guy. It could be embarrassing when the officer walks up behind me while I’m perched outside my neighbor’s window.

“No, officer, I didn’t even notice that she was undressing. But she had ‘Big Bang Theory’ on, and I hadn’t seen that episode.”

I’ve gone without TV before and found that I didn’t miss it.

It does make one a little socially outside the circle. A friend of mine is a doctor. He commented once that he spent so much time studying that he feels like he missed an entire generation of social data.

References to Seinfeld and the Spice Girls are lost on him.

On the other hand, he knows how to deliver babies, and that’s probably more important.

I’m counting on social media and office banter to keep me up-to-date on trends, which is not fail-proof. If I start dressing like Elmer Fudd and develop an obsession with banalities, you’ll know I’ve been hangin out in Barry Locher’s office too much.

Barry, the former editor of Springfield’s daily newspaper, hails from Roodhouse, which is halfway between Podunk and Hicksville. His office is decoratively appointed with all manner of wildlife, half of which I’m pretty sure was roadkill.

Anyway, I don’t want to become antiquated and obscure, but TV causes devolution as well.

Doing away with TV will leave me more time to write great works, create masterpieces out of my Lego blocks, ponder the world’s problems, smoke fine cigars and enjoy the healthful benefits of napping. Probably more cigars and napping than that other stuff.

———

©Copyright 2013 by David Porter who can be reached at david@ramblinman.us. All rights reserved. I don’t want to imply that Barry is antiquated and obscure. He’s not completely obscure.

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