Seeing the silver lining

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At about 3 p.m. on Friday, Sept. 25, I received a call no mother, no grandmother, should ever have to get.

My daughter called sobbing into her phone, begging me to get to her as quickly as I could. She said her son, Christopher, was dead.

As I rushed down the highway toward Bolingbrook, I prayed to God for it to be a mistake.

I then screamed at God in anger.

As I pulled into the parking lot of Bolingbrook Adventist Hospital, somehow I gained composure and went into the emergency room in search of my daughter ... and answers.

An hour later, after talking to police and hospital employees, we left without Christopher. And with more questions than answers.

Having grown up attending Bethlehem Lutheran Church in Morris, I consider myself to have a strong faith in God, so I knew that was where I would need to turn to get through the next hour, day, week, year, and the rest of my life.

I suddenly realized that having left my last church eight years ago, I no longer had a pastor to call, or a church to go to – the only place I have ever found comfort through all of life’s bumps.

I fumbled the digits on my phone as I called 411 and asked for the number to First Presbyterian Church in Morris, where I knew I could call on Rev. Roy Backus, a man I had just months earlier interviewed and found a connection with.

Pastor Backus immediately stepped up as pastor to our family and prayed with me over the phone, promising to be there for us as we worked our way through the days to come.

I recalled quickly what it is I love about Morris – the willingness to help. Even those we barely know.
As I got to where my daughter was living with her boyfriend and son to pack her things and bring her home, I grabbed my phone again.

This time I wouldn’t need 411.

My phone rang and, as I looked at the caller ID, I saw the number I was about to dial, that of my dear friend Brent Newman.

He had no idea, of course, of what had happened, but quickly went into friend mode, asking what he could do.

It was Brent who found a way to set up a memorial fund in Christopher’s honor with We Care of Grundy County to help my then-18-year-old daughter pay for the expenses associated with a funeral, something most of us do not plan for.

And again, I recalled the willingness to help that is rampant in Morris.

As I called my editor, Patrick Graziano, and explained what had happened, he and the staff of the Morris Daily Herald stepped up and filled what was to be my busy Corn Festival schedule.

And again, I was reminded of what it is to be from a small community and local business, where people care about those around them.

Having not had a death close to me since 1984, when I was 15 and lost my father, I had no idea what to do next when it came to funeral arrangements.

I called Fred Dames at Fred C. Dames Funeral Home, a friend of my husband. Fred stepped up and answered the questions we had and told me not to worry about a thing.

As I told him of my concerns about paying for a funeral, he assured me not to worry.

They subtracted over half the cost of the arrangements, something they said they do when it is a child.

I felt grateful for old friends and was reminded that not everyone is in it for the money.

After making arrangements, I called Donna Matteson at Strawberry Plant Boutique to order flowers.

When I asked her if she could bill me for the order, she said no, she was taking care of it.

Having known Donna my whole life, it has just been in the past couple years we have become friends.

I felt grateful for new friends and the love they were showing me.

On Monday, Sept. 28, they arrested my daughter’s boyfriend, Christopher’s father, and suddenly our family was the news that I had so often written.

I again called Patrick, as the news was being aired on WGN Tuesday, and told him I understood if they needed to run the story, which they did with grace and dignity for my family.

I was grateful for an employer who would add our details to a story no other news outlet cared about.

At the wake, over 300 people, many from Morris, came to lend us support and give us their love.

It was then that I knew what Brent and I have discussed so many times in the past two years – people in Morris and Grundy County have something few places still have, caring and love for their fellow man.

We received cards, letters and donations from friends, relatives, and complete strangers.

While facing my darkest storm cloud, I was able to see a silver lining.

Christopher was only with us for five months, but he opened my eyes to the fact that, while there are bad people in the world, there are far more good people, and many of them live in the community I am proud to be from, Morris.

Our family is grateful for everyone who sent prayers, cards and donations, and we would like to thank everyone publicly from the bottom of our hearts.

Heidi Terry-Litchfield is a Morris native and a staff writer/photographer for the Morris Daily Herald. She can be reached via e-mail at hlitchfield@morrisdailyherald.com.

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