Memories & Messages
By Christina Chapman
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cchapman@morrisdailyherald.com
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| Josh Jahn pauses in front of a sign he and a friend, Kirk Thorson of Morris, designed and erected at the site along Illinois 47 where Jahn's wife and children were killed by a drunk driver one year ago today, Friday, Nov. 6. The sign is part of Jahn's ongoing effort to keep his family's story alive and, by so doing, driving home his message about making right decisions. (Herald Photo by Heidi Terry-Litchfield) |
As people walk into the dark classroom, they're immediately drawn to the only lighted area in the room — a table made visible by the white lights that wrap between photos and the possessions of Amanda Jahn and her two young children.
The first item is 11-month-old Kaitlyn Jahn's white flower girl dress, which she wore during the only wedding she'd ever attend – her Aunt Lindy's.
The white lights lead the way to Amanda's wedding ring, sitting in the box her husband originally gave it to her in.
At the end of the table are two of 3-year-old Ryan's favorite toys, Buzz Lightyear and Woody from "Toy Story." The toys are worn from children's play, although they have been untouched for almost a year.
These belongings are some of the things Josh Jahn has left of his family. A family killed by a drunk driver a year ago today.
He shared these memories at the Community Care Initiative Coal City Road to Reality on Oct. 28. Prior to the event, Josh had not moved any of his children's things out of their rooms.
"I wanted it to be a reality. Kim (Scerine, initiative chairperson) offered to buy the same type of toys, but I said no. That's not reality," Josh said. "I wanted it to be a reality for them. But everything else in their rooms is the same. I don't see any reason to move anything. To me it's a memory."
Amanda, Ryan and Kaitlyn were killed Nov. 6, 2008, while on their way home to Dwight. Amanda was driving down Illinois 47 in Mazon, when Ann Marie Getz of Ransom blew a stop sign at Gardner Road and killed the young family while Josh waited at home for them.
Getz was the only person to live through the accident. She pleaded guilty to aggravated driving under the influence and was sentenced to 24 years in prison. Her lawyers is currently seeking to reduce her sentence.
A STORY TO BE TOLD
Moving Ryan and Kaitlyn's toys may have taken Josh almost a year to do, but telling their story came to him as second nature.
"If I'm capable of speaking, I'll go anywhere I'm asked, because it's important. I might not know the difference I make, but that doesn't mean I don't want people to know their stories," Josh said.
Within four months of losing his family, Josh started sharing their story in front of hundreds of people at a time at local high schools, junior highs, churches and even touring with the MWAH! (Messages Which Are Hopeful) Performing Arts Troupe.
The troupe made up of teenagers travels around the state using drama, song and dance to tell true stories to influence teenagers to make right decisions, said Ray Moffitt, founder and director of the group.
"He's a very affective and outstanding speaker," Moffitt said about Josh. "He doesn't just stand up there and tell you that you should do things or should not do things, he's real. He makes a real difference in their lives."
Road to Reality was the most recent school setting in which Josh spoke. Coal City's Road to Reality had about 600 people, including mostly students and their parents, who were taken through a series of scenes starting with a group of teenagers who go drinking and driving. The driver and one of the friends in the car survives, but two of their friends die.
"He's a tremendous young man and it's horrible what he had to endure," Scerine said of Josh. "But he's taken the tragedy of that night and made a positive message so others won't have to go through that."
The skit follows closely the experiences Josh went through. An accident scene was staged, complete with a flipped car, fire truck and ambulance. Paramedics rush one of the victims into an ambulance, just like Josh witnessed his son being taken when he arrived on the scene of his family's accident.
The next scene is the victim in the emergency room, with nurses and doctors trying to save her life as her mother begs for her to live. The doctor tells the mother they have to stop, there is no more hope — just as Josh was told when doctors at Morris Hospital could not save his children.
People were then taken to a "courtroom," where they heard a victim impact statement from the sister of one of the teenagers who died and the defendant beg for mercy.
In July, Josh gave the real court his impact statement during Getz's sentencing hearing. He told the judge his children used to wave at him from an upstairs window when he walked to the back door upon his return from work.
"There are still fingerprints on the window from Ryan," he said at the hearing in July.
Road to Reality ended in the room bearing the Jahn family memories. A video was shown featuring photos of the family and video footage of debris at the accident. Josh spoke to the students and parents at the end of every Road to Reality tour, asking them to always remember his family before making a bad decision.
"To have people here living with us and then to all of a sudden just have them not be here anymore . . . I think everyone in one way or another can understand and relate to that. Even if you have no kids or wife or husband," Josh said Tuesday.
"That's why I want to talk to people, to try and relate to them and have them look at their own family and friends. Everybody loves somebody. That's what keeps people from making the wrong decision."
Josh spends a lot of time talking to children because its an opportunity to reach them before they're put into a situation where they have to make a choice. But he's also reaching out to those who have been given a second chance to make sure they never make a wrong decision again.
People convicted or who receive court supervision for driving under the influence, and kids who receive an alcohol charge, are required to attend a Victim Impact Panel to hear how their decisions affect others, said Grundy County State's Attorney Sheldon Sobol.
Josh spoke on the panel for the first time this week. He also showed the video from Road to Reality.
"It makes me feel good to do things like this because it's all I've got left. It helps me to make sure they live on and that's important to me," Josh said. "I really don't want them to fall into that crack where they are just a statistic."
Despite all of these efforts, Josh considers these small steps toward him making a difference.
"I thought I'd start small. If I keep speaking to groups of hundreds at a time, word is going to get out," he said. "Maybe one day I'll have the strength to walk up Capitol Hill and push for stronger DUI penalties, but right now I know people are listening and remembering. I think at this point I'm doing some good."
He has no intention of stopping. Spreading his family's story is all he has left.
"It's a slow process of letting go," he said. "It is still hard. I think in terms of life, it is never going to feel normal to me. It can feel different, and that is OK."
NEVER TO BE FORGOTTEN
As people drive by the intersection of Gardner Road and Illinois 47 some take the time to remember the three lives taken so abruptly a year ago, others are concentrating on their daily lives and have let the Jahns' story escape them, still others never knew it.
So for the anniversary of his family's death, Josh wanted to make sure people always remember – at least when they drive by the very spot his wife and two children were killed by a drunk driver.
Josh wanted to do something to honor their memory. He considered a billboard, and may still do that one day, but not yet.
Instead he and a friend, Kirk Thorson of Morris, designed a 4-by-8-foot sign featuring the faces of his wife and two children as three reasons not to drink and drive. Below their pictures is a photo of the sunset on the day his family died. Three crosses in their memory sit in front of the sign.
Josh and Thorson installed the sign, which can be seen from both directions at any time of day because of the reflective lettering.
"It says the message I can't stand out there and say 24-hours a day," he said.
In addition, he has applied through a state program for a sign that will be posted on the roadway in their memory.
Fall is a difficult time for Josh, not just because of the anniversary, but also because during this time of year everything looks exactly the same as it did a year ago.
"I can't help but think where I was a year ago this week," he said. "Sometimes it still feels like a dream. It was so good and so peaceful, the time I had with them."
But the flowing memories that are filling his mind these days calm him, he said. Because even though he is still struggling with day-to-day activities like doing dishes or cleaning house, the memories are what keeps him going.
He still tries to involve his family in his daily life to keep those memories alive.
"I still change the pictures on the fridge to what the season is. I just took down a picture of Ryan mowing the grass with his bubble mower and put up a picture of the kids at Dollinger Farm last year," he said.
In addition to his mission to help stop drinking and driving, he also wants to make sure people take the time to appreciate their loved ones.
"It breaks my heart when I see so many people missing out because they're so focused on money or jobs," Josh said. "It's so important to spend time with your kids and your family and to be thankful for them, not just at Thanksgiving or Christmas. I know that now and I want people to see that."
Josh and his wife's family are getting ready to welcome a new niece or nephew, and he's thrilled, he said, because he knows Amanda's sister Lindy and her husband, Zac Bailey, will appreciate every moment.
"I can't wait. I'm really excited to see them start that chapter of their life story," Josh said. "I can't tell them enough how happy and excited I am for them."
It's common for people to assume the sight of children and families only brings sadness to Josh, but like any parent who can relate to another, he smiles when he sees children.
"I'll be in Walmart and catch the eyes of a little kid in an aisle and 90 percent of the time if the kid is 3 or older, I can tell they know that I want to talk to them," he said.
The part that is hard for him is when he meets someone new who asks if he has kids. Answering them and telling them what happened is not what is hard, it's their reaction.
"They look like they got hit in the chest and it kills me. But then I turn the conversation and tell them to appreciate every minute they have with them, whether it's a temper tantrum or them telling you they love you at night."
"The downside is I made them sad, but it's good because I know when they leave they're going to go home and hug their kid," he said.
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